Photo by Shayna Douglas on Unsplash.com
The Kingdom of Denmarkification today announced a goodwill cultural delegation to California, led by renowned Norse explorer Leif Erikson. He will be accompanied by Thor, Shadow Secretary of Energy & Thunder, by Freya, Senior Hygge Expert at Valhalla University, and Loki, Local Security Adviser and mead enthusiast. The visit comes on the back of a show of massive support nationally and globally to the acquisition of California.
“This is friendliness, not provocation,” Erikson stated after a strategy meeting in Valhalla Hall. “We’re dealing with a lot of Californians who would like to see something happen with respect to their cultural enrichment and proper appreciation of our heritage.”
Leif Erikson renewed Denmark’s interest in making California Danish, calling it a matter of “cultural security”. Los Angeles? More like Løs Ångeles!
“They really like the idea because they’ve been somewhat abandoned by their current leader in their country. They haven’t been taken well, good care of. And I think California is going to be something that maybe is in our future,” he said, scratching his horned helmet with a diplomatic smile.
Delegation Itinerary Highlights
- A joy ride of The Little Mermaid attraction at Hans Christian Andersenland (formerly Disneyland) (to be confirmed).
- A roundtable discussion at UC Berkeley on “Viking Economics or Capitalism 2.0: Raiding and Pillaging as a Sustainable American Growth Model?” (to be confirmed)
- “Loki’s Security Workshop” — How to use legos and group chat (pending a legally ambiguous loophole stopping it).
- Raven Color Census The delegation will conduct California’s first-ever avian diversity audit, ensuring equal representation for all corvid in official Norse imagery (unless an executive order prevents it).
- Inspection of the Mount Rushmore to investigate options to add the heads of Viggo Mortensen and Lars Ulrich (Metallica) (to be confirmed).
The delegation will conclude with a “Feast of Eternal Sunshine” in Napa Valley, where attendees will negotiate trade agreements over artisanal mead and smørrebrød avocado. Reducing tariffs on export and import of Hygge will be discussed.
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Official Press Release by the Pastry Department of the Embassy of Denmarkification, www.denmarkification.com
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